I want to get away from this place.

I'm a mess.

I try so hard to be strong, but of course, I'm still weak. Give me a drink or two and it all comes rushing back.

Regrets.

I have a few. No, I have many.

I'm not proud of everything I've done in my life. The opposite, really.

But you can't just take it back. You can try and do better, but sometimes, you just don't deserve to be forgiven. Sometimes, you cannot just start new. I accept that fact. Sometimes, you cannot make amends. Sometimes, you just have to suffer. I'm okay with that.

Hard to describe what I'm feeling. But I think I'll be okay soon.

Just broke up with my girlfriend today. It was just a lot of bitterness. I can be such an asshole sometimes. I've treated people so badly that never deserved it, but I get really hurt when I'm treated badly. I'm striving to be better in the future, but I still await punishment for past mistakes.

I'd like to treat this blog as more of a journal, chronicling my thoughts and feelings as they come. Likely, the reader shall find that I am always cycling between up and down moments, but will likely only really post when I'm feeling down.